Let's talk about it!!

It's something we are all familiar with... Something doesn't go our way... Something happens that makes us feel like the world is ending, and we sink into despair. We want to cry, scream, and shout. If you are lucky, you have someone that loves you, someone that wants to make sure you are okay, and they tell you, don't hold it in... Talk about your feelings. They remind you how unhealthy it is to surpress your feelings. Don't bottle it up.

There are even people who, for a living, talk to people about their feelings. Physiciatrist spend hours every day helping people learn how to work through their problems and their emotions. 

I know sometimes I get upset over things that don't exactly make a lot of sense.. And even though I'm being a little irrational, I still need to talk through it, and get my feelings off my chest... Right friends!? We all do it! (Sorry honey... I can't help it)

Because I can (easily) relate.. I have to admit, it breaks my heart a little when I hear adult brushing off their child's feelings... Why is it, that we spend our adult life learning how to get things off our chest, and trying not to bottle up our feelings, but yet we tell, no, we TEACH our kids to ignore their feelings! Too often we say "you're okay" "stop crying, it didn't hurt" or "that's enough, that is nothing to be upset over". 

I know that I sometime catch myself trying to comfort Brielle with hugs and sympathetic "it's okay's", but maybe to her, at the moment, it's not okay... Maybe because I won't let her eat the cat food, or she hit her head on the table, even though it really didn't seem hard, maybe to her, she feels like her world is ending. Instead of saying "it's okay, you're fine", maybe I should just hug her, and tell her I'm sorry and I love her... I know that's how I would want my loved ones to treat me when I was upset.

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My Past 5 Months

The first of the month always seems to arrive so quickly. It is hard to believe Brielle is 5 months old. On one hand I feel like she has always been a part of my life, and on the other hand it feels like just yesterday that I held her tiny body for the first time. The past 5 months have been the most rewarding months of my life, and she is my greatest blessing.

In just 5 months she has almost tripled her birth weight. As of last week I have packed up 90% of her newborn clothes, and she is now wearing 0-3 month clothes. She has learned how to roll over, from front to back, and back to front. She smiles all day long, and has started to laugh. She "talks" to her daddy and I all day long, and lately, instead of crying when she is angry, she growls at us instead.

I could not love her anymore than I already do,and I thank God for her everyday because she has changed my life. She makes me stronger, more loving, and a more humble woman everyday.

Welcome Brielle Devlyn

I cant believe its already been 2 weeks since ive had my sweet baby girl in my arms. Its amazing how much my heart grew the first time i heard her sweet little cry.  Since the last couple of weeks have already been such a blur i thought id take a minute to write up the story of how Brielle made her appearence into this world.

It started back on Tuesday January 29. I was 37 weeks 4 days pregnant when we got up early, very excited to go to our ultrasound appointment to see our little girl. I woke up with anticipation to see how big she was getting and hopeful that our Dr. appointment would show some progression in my body that meant our little one was getting closer to being born. 
Rich's parents met us at the office to see the ultrasound. During the ultrasound the tech said that we had a little baby, she weighed approx. 5 lbs 3 oz. We asked what that could mean, she said it could mean the placenta wasnt working the way it should and our Dr. may talk to us about inducing. A thousand thoughts were going through my mind, mostly concern that Brielle was going to have complications because her growth had been hindered.

Thankfully our Dr. appointment was immediately after the ultrasound, not sure how I would have been able to wait if it weren't. At that appointment the Dr did confirm that Brielle wasn't getting the nutrients she needed from the placenta anymore and she would be better off outside rather than in so she could start to put on some more weight. She reassured us that even though Brielle was small, all of her organs looked great and she was developed as much as she should be at 38 weeks. So we set the induction date for Thursday.

Thursday morning after getting little to no sleep, we were in the car and on our way to the hospital by 730 am. After checking in, and a bit of a wait, we were settled into our room by 10. The midwife that was on call from my Dr office comes in to tell us that my Dr will be in the following night at 7 pm and so we were just going to start things out very slowly so my Dr could be there to deliver the baby. We were prepared for a long process but this news wasn't exactly what we wanted to hear. At 2 pm Thursday the midwife came back to get the process started. She put a catheter into my cervix (ouch!!) and pumped it full of liquid to help soften the cervix, that would stay in for 12 or more hours. The pitocin can go up to a level 20, but they just had it at a level 4, the next morning they would increase the pitocin to help me dilate.

Apparently a level 4 pitocin was enough to get my contractions started. By 6 pm they were only 2-3 minutes apart.  After a few hours of trying a pain medication called fentanyl with not much relief, I decided it was time for an epidural. By 11 pm I was feeling much better, and being completely exhausted I was able to fall asleep. At 5 am Friday the Dr. came in to take the catheter out. I was now 100% effaced and 4 cm dilated. From there my body decided that it didn't care if my Dr. was there or not, it was not going to wait til 7 pm to make progress. By 10 am my water broke and I was 6 cm dilated. The on call Dr. talked to my Dr. and she said she could be there at 1 so she could be there for my delivery.

After my water broke we noticed a change in the babys heart rate. Normal rate for her was between 120 and 160, and it was now 180 or higher and with my contractions it would drop down below 105. The Dr wasn't overly concerned,  but she was definitely keeping  a close eye on us. I on the other hand couldn't stop watching the monitor that showed her heart rate. Around the same time my temperature was now up to 102 degrees.  The Dr at this point was starting to worry about the baby and I getting an infection so they started me on an antibiotic I.V. as well as a tylenol I.V. I had so many wires and tubes hooked up to me at this point.

Finally, 2 pm comes and my Dr comes in and says its time to get this baby out.  I pushed through about 4 contractions, and 20 minutes later I heard the sweetest sound I've ever heard. A good strong cry from my little girl.

Brielle Devlyn Wheeler was born on February 1, 2013 at 2:25 pm. She weighed 4 lbs 7.7 oz, and was 18 inches long. She cried while she was getting cleaned up but stopped as soon as she was being held. She layed on my chest and I told jerk through tears how much I love her. Every day since then my heart has grown a little bit bigger because she has been in my life. I am so grateful for my beautiful little blessing.

Permission to post TMI

I am already loving the idea of this blog! It gives me an outlet and a way to take a minute to record down some memories, and at the same time keep the people who are interested in my life to read what i have to say, without over sharing with all my "friends" on facebook.  I mean, lets get real... more than half the people on my facebook probably don't care what I have to say, especially since I feel like all I've talked about is pregnancy, and in another couple weeks i know ALL I'll have to talk about is my little girl.So I'm loving the idea of a blog because I can over share, I can expose all the dirty details, and well if you read it, its because YOU clicked on my blog, not because it showed up on your facebook wall.

I am taking a quick break from cleaning every inch of my house.. I just have this horrible picture in my head about going into labor, coming home from the hospital with the baby and being WAY too tired to clean, but then people want to come over and see the baby and my house is just a wreck.. I do not like that idea at all.. so here I am, 37 and a half weeks pregnant and trying to clean my floor on my hands and knees.. oh geez.. I'm going to be sore tomorrow.  Hey, maybe all the cleaning will put me into labor and then all this cleaning won't go to waste! A girl can dream, right?

Friday afternoon was our most recent Dr. appointment and everything is looking great.  With just 3 weeks to go until my due date my cervix is thinning and I am 1 cm. dilated. (These are the dirty details I wouldn't dream of posting on Facebook... not EVERYONE needs to know the details of what's going on "down there")  We go on Tuesday for our last ultrasound to check the size of our baby and then for another Dr. appointment to see if things are progressing more.  Wish me luck!

Swollen feet, snoring, and snorting...

Today marks the 36th week of my pregnancy, and while the last 36 weeks have seemed to fly right past me, on the other hand.. it's hard to remember a time when I wasn't pregnant.  So I thought I would take a minute to remember some of the weird symptoms that I never imagined would accompany a pregnancy, because I imagine once Brielle is here, I won't easily remember this time.  Who would have thought that this baby would kill so many of my brain cells.  So here I am, sitting on my couch, with a little set of feet jammed behind my rib cage, and my swollen feet and fat ankles up on the table while I type this first blog entry. 

There are some things I will miss so much about being pregnant, the kicks and nudges, and the cute hiccups that she seems to get more often than any human being should.  I'll miss being able to protect her 24-7, and I'll miss being able to feel her love, without having to hear her scream.  Of course there are things I won't miss.  Like the constant snoring... Sometimes happens so loud that I wake myself up, along with my husband, and probably neighbors.  I went to bed last night with ankles that looked like they must have belonged to an ogre... don't think I'll miss that.  Some days I feel like a pig, but what's even stranger is, sometimes I actually sound like one.. that's right friends, I have developed the most embarrassing and inconvenient SNORT!  I snort when I'm laughing, I snort when I'm crying, I snort when I take in a deep breath... what the heck! I'm hoping that's one of the symptoms that goes away, RIGHT away!

Well, I did intend to write more, but it has been a whole 4 and a half minutes since I last used the bathroom, and well.. my bladder is about to burst again! Until next time! =)